Memory and Me

Side Effects can be debilitating and exhausting as a result of taking highly regarded and toxic medications.

Particularly people are more likely to have memory and concentration issues due to the anticonvulsants

prescribed by their neurologist.

Personally, If I had to structure a sincere and genuine future support plan for myself, i would always select life over seizures.

I would definitely without a doubt , live with epilepsy the rest of my life, as long as i could retrieve my memory.

I can’t remember fundamental, important and momentous periods and personal experiences that i have been privileged to be involved in during my life the way it used to be. Its like all the data has been wiped clean from my memory.

I am distressed due to the fact that i am unable to recall significant and meaningful amounts of past experiences that represent relevant and special moments in life with my family and brother Kevin, that should be unforgettable. I get so upset with myself because i am not able to revisit memory lane.

I endure feelings of disheartenment and frustration when i struggle to remember exceptionally important appointments and engagements. I have missed meetings with my epilepsy consultant and social gatherings, not because i am careless or disorganised, it’s my memory.

I have extreme difficulties remembering peoples names and identifying individuals that i am associated with on a regular basis. Occasionally this circumstance makes me feel hopeless and worthless. I feel embarrassed when confessing to people in my social and professional circle that i am unable to recall their names, and would be greatly appreciative if they may perhaps repeat their identity again for me.

Personally memory loss for myself is the most difficult and upsetting part of having epilepsy. I have accepted my seizures and i am taking control of my life but the memory loss is disturbing and distressing, and is tough trying to accept it.

This petrifies me as in the future, i would love to regard myself in much better health and in a position to hold down a full time job especially one that i have always desired and dreamt about doing, but I am afraid that my memory will let me down.

I have identified, my memory declines following tonic clonic seizures, it usually takes approximately five days to remember things.

The most practical concept of confronting and dealing with memory loss is to carry discreetly ( if you prefer) a notebook and pen and furthermore, a diary to keep records of information and communications that are essential to you.

I manage my daily medications by taking advantage of a weekly blister pack that i collect from my local dispensary ever Monday. The pack was recommended by my GP, as i am prescribed a cocktail of powerful Anticonvulsants i was confused and oblivious to wether or not i had actually taken my medications. In fact i am almost certain, that i had absorbed a double dose. The advantages of a blister pack, is so i can remember to take my medications and can keep on top of what medications i have taken.

My home is brimming with photographs of meaningful and poignant, moments, experiences and occasions within my lifetime that recalls me back to recollect the fortunate life that i am so blessed to have.

Steven Connelly

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